Tuesday, January 31, 2017
The Thought For Today
“When the food runs out, the family reunion is over. It’s cool that out of all my relatives, I’m the only cannibal.
” - Jarod Kintz
Monday, January 30, 2017
Common foods that are toxic for pets
Own a dog or cat? This is important stuff to know, print and post on your fridge.
Sunday, January 29, 2017
Saturday, January 28, 2017
Funny and Extreme Videos, Flash Games, Funny Pictures, Funny Jokes, Funny Flash Humor - KillSomeTime.com
Funny and Extreme Videos, Flash Games, Funny Pictures, Funny Jokes, Funny Flash Humor - KillSomeTime.com As the name says, it's a great place to kill some time. You especially need to check out the video shorts - page after page of them. All of the classics are there including Janet Jackson's little mishap. I especially love "Got Milk?".
Friday, January 27, 2017
Thursday, January 26, 2017
The Thought For Today
"The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing." - Phyllis Diller
10 Ways to Freak Out Your Date
"Here’s my pick for 10 ways to turn off your date, with some choice marketing language from their vendors. If you wear one of these and your date does not quickly disappear, I suggest you hurry and take out a restraining order and change your telephone number, cuz you got yourself a big problem." My favorite - #8 of course!
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Rec: Haggis, Tatties and Neeps
Sunday night is Burns Night so why not celebrate it like every good Scot with Haggis accompanied with Tatties and Neeps (mashed potatoes with a little nutmeg and Mashed Swede also known as turnip with a little ginger). In this recipe I have combined the two, sprinkled a little Scottish cheddar cheese over the top to make Orkney Clapshot but you can keep the two separate if you prefer.
(NOTE: The dictionary says that the Swedish turnip is actually the rutabaga. Plan accordingly.)
Haggis
1.2-1.5kg haggis (look for the best quality you can find, it is now found in many butchers and supermarkets around the world or order it in if you have to).
Tatties
600g mashing potato, peeled and roughly chopped
60ml milk
4 tbsp butter
a generous pinch of grated nutmeg
maldon salt
Neeps
600g Swede (turnip), peeled and roughly chopped
4 tbsp butter
3cm ginger, peeled and chopped or ground ginger
maldon salt and freshly ground black pepper
Orkney Clapshot
Tatties and Neeps
150g cheddar cheese, grated
To Serve
cooked kale, cabbage or spinach tossed in a little butter and season with a little salt and pepper
30ml whisky.
Haggis: Place the haggis in a large saucepan and cover it with cold water. Bring the water to a strong simmer then reduce the heat to a gentle steady simmer and cover the pan. Leave the haggis to cook for 40 minutes per 500g.
Tatties: Place the potatoes in a saucepan and cover them with cold water, bring the water to the boil then reduce it to a strong simmer. Leave the potatoes to cook for 20-30 minutes until they are tender. Drain the potatoes well and return them to the pan. Return the pan to the low heat and dry the potatoes for a couple of minutes. Add the butter and milk to the pan and mash the potatoes with a fork or potato masher. Add the nutmeg and a little salt to the potatoes and beat them to a smooth mash.
Neeps: Place the Swede (turnip) in a saucepan and cover them with cold water. Place the pan over a high heat and bring the water to a boil, reduce the heat to a strong simmer and leave the Swede to cook for 20-30 minutes until they are tender. Drain Swede and return them to the pan. Place the saucepan over a low heat and cook the Swede to dry it out for a couple of minutes. Add the butter and ginger to the pan and cook them with the Swede for a minute. Mash the mixture with a fork or potato masher. Season the Neeps with a little salt and pepper and beat it until smooth.
Orkney Clapshot: Preheat a grill to high. Mix together "Tatties and Neeps" until they are well combined. Place the mixture in an oven proof container and cover it with the grated cheese. Place the container under the hot grill and cook it until golden brown. Serve
To Serve Haggis: Remove the haggis from the pan and cut it open with scissors or a knife. Serve the Haggis accompanied with Tatties and Neeps or Orkney Clapshot and your choice of greens. Drizzle a little of whisky over each serving of haggis (optional). Serve
Serves 6
I have no idea what to do with leftovers
(NOTE: The dictionary says that the Swedish turnip is actually the rutabaga. Plan accordingly.)
Haggis
1.2-1.5kg haggis (look for the best quality you can find, it is now found in many butchers and supermarkets around the world or order it in if you have to).
Tatties
600g mashing potato, peeled and roughly chopped
60ml milk
4 tbsp butter
a generous pinch of grated nutmeg
maldon salt
Neeps
600g Swede (turnip), peeled and roughly chopped
4 tbsp butter
3cm ginger, peeled and chopped or ground ginger
maldon salt and freshly ground black pepper
Orkney Clapshot
Tatties and Neeps
150g cheddar cheese, grated
To Serve
cooked kale, cabbage or spinach tossed in a little butter and season with a little salt and pepper
30ml whisky.
Haggis: Place the haggis in a large saucepan and cover it with cold water. Bring the water to a strong simmer then reduce the heat to a gentle steady simmer and cover the pan. Leave the haggis to cook for 40 minutes per 500g.
Tatties: Place the potatoes in a saucepan and cover them with cold water, bring the water to the boil then reduce it to a strong simmer. Leave the potatoes to cook for 20-30 minutes until they are tender. Drain the potatoes well and return them to the pan. Return the pan to the low heat and dry the potatoes for a couple of minutes. Add the butter and milk to the pan and mash the potatoes with a fork or potato masher. Add the nutmeg and a little salt to the potatoes and beat them to a smooth mash.
Neeps: Place the Swede (turnip) in a saucepan and cover them with cold water. Place the pan over a high heat and bring the water to a boil, reduce the heat to a strong simmer and leave the Swede to cook for 20-30 minutes until they are tender. Drain Swede and return them to the pan. Place the saucepan over a low heat and cook the Swede to dry it out for a couple of minutes. Add the butter and ginger to the pan and cook them with the Swede for a minute. Mash the mixture with a fork or potato masher. Season the Neeps with a little salt and pepper and beat it until smooth.
Orkney Clapshot: Preheat a grill to high. Mix together "Tatties and Neeps" until they are well combined. Place the mixture in an oven proof container and cover it with the grated cheese. Place the container under the hot grill and cook it until golden brown. Serve
To Serve Haggis: Remove the haggis from the pan and cut it open with scissors or a knife. Serve the Haggis accompanied with Tatties and Neeps or Orkney Clapshot and your choice of greens. Drizzle a little of whisky over each serving of haggis (optional). Serve
Serves 6
I have no idea what to do with leftovers
Monday, January 23, 2017
Address to a Haggis by Robert Burns
Address to a Haggis by Robert Burns
Remember, Wednesday night (the 25th) is Burns Night. Address to a Haggis is normally recited over the supper. I've ordered MY Haggis, have you?
Remember, Wednesday night (the 25th) is Burns Night. Address to a Haggis is normally recited over the supper. I've ordered MY Haggis, have you?
Sunday, January 22, 2017
Saturday, January 21, 2017
My New Living Will
I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes (a day or two) and I fail to ask for at least ONE of the following…Martini ____ Margarita ____ Scotch and Water____ Bloody Mary ____Vodka & Tonic ____
Glass of Chardonnay or ____ Merlot ____Steak ____ Lobster or Crab Legs ____
The Remote Control ____Bowl of Ice Cream ____ The Sports Page ____ Chocolate ____
Or Sex ____…it should be presumed that I will never get any better. When such a determination is reached, I here by instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. At this point, it is time for all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had. Signature: ___________________________ Date: ___/___/___
Via Frankie
Glass of Chardonnay or ____ Merlot ____Steak ____ Lobster or Crab Legs ____
The Remote Control ____Bowl of Ice Cream ____ The Sports Page ____ Chocolate ____
Or Sex ____…it should be presumed that I will never get any better. When such a determination is reached, I here by instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. At this point, it is time for all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had. Signature: ___________________________ Date: ___/___/___
Via Frankie
Friday, January 20, 2017
The Thought For Today
"My mother said to me, "If you are a soldier, you will become a general. If you are a monk, you will become the Pope." Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso." - Pablo Picasso
Your Breasts Are Trying To Kill You
From Slate: A smart new history takes boobs seriously. NOT just for women.
Thursday, January 19, 2017
The Thought For Today
"Be true to your teeth and they won't be false to you." - Milton Supman...'Soupy Sales'
Which Science-Fiction Writer Are You?
Which Science-Fiction Writer Are You?
You KNOW you want to know. And in case you were wondering, Arthur C. Clarke. I WISH.
You KNOW you want to know. And in case you were wondering, Arthur C. Clarke. I WISH.
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
The Thought For Today
"A man who carries a cat by the tail will learn something he can learn in no other way." - Mark Twain
What on Earth - A Collection Of Fun Wear & Delightful Diversions
What on Earth - A Collection Of Fun Wear & Delightful Diversions
Another fun place to shop - I get a lot of my T-shirts here. "Some days it's not even worth chewing through the restraints." What more can you say?
Another fun place to shop - I get a lot of my T-shirts here. "Some days it's not even worth chewing through the restraints." What more can you say?
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
Rec: Crockpot Bouillabaisse
1 onion, chopped
1/2 cup dry white wine
3 celery stalks with leaves, chopped
1 pinch saffron
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 dash Tabasco sauce
1/2 cup olive oil
3 lbs mixed fish, cut into 1" squares
2 cups clam juice
1 lb lobster/tails (optional)
1/4 cup parsley, chopped
1 lb crabmeat (optional)
3 tomatoes, diced
1 lb shrimp, shelled and deveined
2 teaspoons salt
2 dozen clams, mussels or scallops
1/2 teaspoon thyme
1 tablespoon paprika
Put all ingredients, except seafood, in crockpot. Cover and
cook on HIGH for 2 to 4 hours. Add seafood. Cover and cook on
HIGH for 1 to 3 hours. Serve in heated large bowls garnished
with fresh parsley with crusty bread on the side.
Serves 4 to 6
Refrigerate remainder
Can be reheated in microwave though it's also good chilled
1/2 cup dry white wine
3 celery stalks with leaves, chopped
1 pinch saffron
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 dash Tabasco sauce
1/2 cup olive oil
3 lbs mixed fish, cut into 1" squares
2 cups clam juice
1 lb lobster/tails (optional)
1/4 cup parsley, chopped
1 lb crabmeat (optional)
3 tomatoes, diced
1 lb shrimp, shelled and deveined
2 teaspoons salt
2 dozen clams, mussels or scallops
1/2 teaspoon thyme
1 tablespoon paprika
Put all ingredients, except seafood, in crockpot. Cover and
cook on HIGH for 2 to 4 hours. Add seafood. Cover and cook on
HIGH for 1 to 3 hours. Serve in heated large bowls garnished
with fresh parsley with crusty bread on the side.
Serves 4 to 6
Refrigerate remainder
Can be reheated in microwave though it's also good chilled
Rec: Best Unsteamed Shrimp
1/2 cup butter
2 pounds large shrimp - peeled and deveined
1/4 cup Old Bay Seasoning
2 tablespoons lemon juice
Place butter in microwave safe bowl. Place bowl in
microwave and melt butter (15 to 30 seconds on HIGH).
Add Old Bay seasoning ™ and lemon juice. Stir well. Coat
microwave safe pan with non-stick cooking spray.
Arrange shrimp in a layer in the pan. Pour butter
mixture evenly over shrimp. Cook in microwave on
HIGH power for 6 minutes. After two minutes have
elapsed pause microwave and rearrange shrimp (move
shrimp from the center to the outside, from the outside to
the center). Let the shrimp cook for another 2 minutes.
When 4 minutes have elapsed pause the microwave
again, rearrange the shrimp once more. Place shrimp
back in the microwave and cook remaining two minutes.
Cook until shrimp turn pink. Serve hot with your favorite
cocktail sauce.
Serves 4
2 pounds large shrimp - peeled and deveined
1/4 cup Old Bay Seasoning
2 tablespoons lemon juice
Place butter in microwave safe bowl. Place bowl in
microwave and melt butter (15 to 30 seconds on HIGH).
Add Old Bay seasoning ™ and lemon juice. Stir well. Coat
microwave safe pan with non-stick cooking spray.
Arrange shrimp in a layer in the pan. Pour butter
mixture evenly over shrimp. Cook in microwave on
HIGH power for 6 minutes. After two minutes have
elapsed pause microwave and rearrange shrimp (move
shrimp from the center to the outside, from the outside to
the center). Let the shrimp cook for another 2 minutes.
When 4 minutes have elapsed pause the microwave
again, rearrange the shrimp once more. Place shrimp
back in the microwave and cook remaining two minutes.
Cook until shrimp turn pink. Serve hot with your favorite
cocktail sauce.
Serves 4
Rec: Microwave Red Snapper
4 (6 oz) fillets red snapper or haddock
3/4 cup sour cream
1/4 cup mayonnaise
3 tablespoons milk
1 tablespoon prepared mustard
1 1/2 teaspoons dill weed
hot cooked rice
Cut fish into serving-size pieces; place in an ungreased
shallow microwave-safe dish. Cover and microwave on
HIGH for 3 1/2 minutes. Drain liquid. Combine the sour
cream, mayonnaise, milk, mustard and dill; drizzle 1/2 cup
over the fish. Microwave, uncovered, on HIGH for 3 1/2
minutes or until fish flakes easily with a fork. Serve over
rice with remaining sauce.
Serves 4 to 6
Refrigerate remainder
Can be reheated in microwave
3/4 cup sour cream
1/4 cup mayonnaise
3 tablespoons milk
1 tablespoon prepared mustard
1 1/2 teaspoons dill weed
hot cooked rice
Cut fish into serving-size pieces; place in an ungreased
shallow microwave-safe dish. Cover and microwave on
HIGH for 3 1/2 minutes. Drain liquid. Combine the sour
cream, mayonnaise, milk, mustard and dill; drizzle 1/2 cup
over the fish. Microwave, uncovered, on HIGH for 3 1/2
minutes or until fish flakes easily with a fork. Serve over
rice with remaining sauce.
Serves 4 to 6
Refrigerate remainder
Can be reheated in microwave
Rec: Microwave Mediterranean Fish
1 sliced onion
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 crushed garlic clove
1 (14 to 15 oz) can stewed tomatoes
4 tablespoons tomatoe-based salsa
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 1/2 lbs red snapper
12 sliced green olives
In a microwave safe container, combine sliced onion, olive oil
and crushed garlic. Cover and microwave on HIGH for 3
minutes. Drain. Stir in stewed tomatoes, salsa and cinnamon.
Top with red snapper and sliced green olives. Cover and
microwave on HIGH for 3 to 4 minutes or until fish flakes
easily with a fork.
Serves 4
Refrigerate remainder
Can be reheated in microwave
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 crushed garlic clove
1 (14 to 15 oz) can stewed tomatoes
4 tablespoons tomatoe-based salsa
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 1/2 lbs red snapper
12 sliced green olives
In a microwave safe container, combine sliced onion, olive oil
and crushed garlic. Cover and microwave on HIGH for 3
minutes. Drain. Stir in stewed tomatoes, salsa and cinnamon.
Top with red snapper and sliced green olives. Cover and
microwave on HIGH for 3 to 4 minutes or until fish flakes
easily with a fork.
Serves 4
Refrigerate remainder
Can be reheated in microwave
Rec: Trout Chowder
1 medium onion, chopped
1 tablespoon butter or margarine
2 cups milk
1 cup Ranch salad dressing
1 pound skinless, boneless trout fillets
1 (10 oz) package frozen broccoli cuts, thawed
1 cup cubed or shredded Cheddar cheese
1 cup cubed or shredded Monterey Jack cheese
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
Paprika
In a skillet, saute onion in butter until tender. Transfer to
a crock pot; add milk, dressing, fish, broccoli, cheeses and
garlic powder. Cover and cook on HIGH for 1-1/2 to 2 hours
or until chowder is bubbly and fish flakes easily with a fork.
Sprinkle with paprika if desired.
Serves 4 to 6
Refrigerate remainder
Can be reheated in microwave
1 tablespoon butter or margarine
2 cups milk
1 cup Ranch salad dressing
1 pound skinless, boneless trout fillets
1 (10 oz) package frozen broccoli cuts, thawed
1 cup cubed or shredded Cheddar cheese
1 cup cubed or shredded Monterey Jack cheese
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
Paprika
In a skillet, saute onion in butter until tender. Transfer to
a crock pot; add milk, dressing, fish, broccoli, cheeses and
garlic powder. Cover and cook on HIGH for 1-1/2 to 2 hours
or until chowder is bubbly and fish flakes easily with a fork.
Sprinkle with paprika if desired.
Serves 4 to 6
Refrigerate remainder
Can be reheated in microwave
Sunday, January 15, 2017
Saturday, January 14, 2017
Friday, January 13, 2017
The Thought For Today
"For Christmas, I gave my kid a BB gun. He gave me a sweater with a bull's-eye on the back." - Rodney Dangerfield
Thursday, January 12, 2017
The Thought For Today
"To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad." - Jack Handey
Bullshit Deflectors
"The "Bullshit Deflector" flaps are a great way to protect yourself from GOP or punditry bullshit and spin..."
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
The Thought For Today
"A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.'" - Steven Wright
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
The Thought For Today
"Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside." - Mark Twain
Monday, January 09, 2017
The Thought For Today
"Sharks have been swimming the oceans unchallenged for thousands of years; chances are, the species that roams corporate waters will prove just as hardy." - Eric Gelman
Main Page - Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Main Page - Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
I have no doubt that they've chased you off of Wikipedia. But here you can play to your hearts content. Or as they put it, "the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit".
I have no doubt that they've chased you off of Wikipedia. But here you can play to your hearts content. Or as they put it, "the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit".
Sunday, January 08, 2017
Saturday, January 07, 2017
Deano Sez: Unfortunate Star Wars Costumes
After you view (and laugh at) the costumes, go back and view the cards....well worth the fifteen minutes...
Friday, January 06, 2017
The Thought For Today
"The trouble with class reunions is that old flames have become even older." - Doug Larson
NSFW Welcome To The Land Of NSFW Comics
NSFW I don't even know how to begin to describe this one. Enjoy. NSFW
Thursday, January 05, 2017
The Thought For Today
"The dog was created especially for children. He is the god of frolic." - Henry Ward Beecher
Wednesday, January 04, 2017
The Thought For Today
"A surgeon in Florida was fined $5,000 for removing the kidney of a patient instead of the gallbladder. The surgeon said, 'I am so sorry for the mistake, and I mean that from the bottom of the red, pumpy thingy in my chest.'" - Jimmy Fallon
They Do It With... - Chez Goodman
They Do It With... - Chez Goodman The collection that you've been waiting all your life for. And remember: "Mimes don't do it; everyone hates a mime."
Tuesday, January 03, 2017
The Thought For Today
“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.” ― Calvin Trillin
Sunday, January 01, 2017
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