My New Living Will

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes (a day or two) and I fail to ask for at least ONE of the following…Martini ____ Margarita ____ Scotch and Water____ Bloody Mary ____Vodka & Tonic ____
Glass of Chardonnay or ____ Merlot ____Steak ____ Lobster or Crab Legs ____
The Remote Control ____Bowl of Ice Cream ____ The Sports Page ____ Chocolate ____
Or Sex ____…it should be presumed that I will never get any better. When such a determination is reached, I here by instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. At this point, it is time for all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had. Signature: ___________________________ Date: ___/___/___


Via Frankie