The Thought For Today

"I think luck is the sense to recognize an opportunity and the ability to take advantage of it... The man who can smile at his breaks and grab his chances gets on." - Samuel Goldwyn

www.zombieportraits.com

http://www.zombieportraits.com/

This is definately one for Weird Friday. If you send Rob Sacchetto a picture of your head and shoulders (and money of course), he'll send back a custom portrait of you as a zombie. Sweet, but are they worth the money? It's up to you, but, personally I just need to look in a mirror in the morning. BRRRRRRR!

The Thought For Today

"Laughter is an instant vacation." - Milton Berle

The Thought For Today

"Behold, the tailgate party. The pinnacle of human achievement. Since the dawn of parking lots, man has sought to fill his gut with food and alcohol in anticipation of watching others exercise.” - Homer Simpson

The Thought For Today

"Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing." - Dave Barry

POOR DEANO!

The Thought For Today

"The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse." - Jacqueline Kennedy

The Thought For Today

"I had, out of my sixty teachers, a scant half dozen who couldn't have been supplanted by phonographs." - Don Herold

The Thought For Today

"A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, any more than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table." - John F. Kennedy

Sea Monkey Worship Page

Sea Monkey Worship Page

A blast from the past. All hail the Sea Monkeys, the true rulers of the seas! Yup, those things that you ordered off the back pages of a comic book are still around. And STILL don't look anything like the pictures.

The Thought For Today

"I went on a diet, swore off heavy eating and in fourteen days I lost two weeks." -  Joe E. Lewis

The Thought For Today

"There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant." - W.C.Fields

The Though For Today

"Good intentions will always be pleaded for every assumption of authority. It is hardly too strong to say that the Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of good intentions. There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters. They think there need be but little restraint upon themselves. The love of power may sink too deep in their own hearts." - Daniel Webster

HeroRAT

"A fully-trained HeroRAT can identify landmines quickly and efficiently, or can sniff out deadly pulmonary tuberculosis faster than traditional laboratory microscopy." Yes, it's exactly what it sounds like. They save HUMAN lives. And they need your support. Go, read, give.

The Thought For Today

I date this girl for two years -- and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name." - Mike Binder

The Thought For Today

"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up." - Lenny Bruce

The Thought For Today

"Eat the rich — the poor are tough and stringy." - Anon

The Thought For Today

"It's not hard to tell we was poor -- when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline." - George Lindsey

BBspot - RIAA Lawsuit Decision Matrix

BBspot - RIAA Lawsuit Decision Matrix

A little bit of humor about a very unfunny subject.

POOR DEANO!

Paraprosdokians

PARAPROSDOKIANS are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. (Winston Churchill loved them)

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.

The Thought For Today

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car." — Jack Handey

52 Examples Why Florida Is Still The Craziest State

And proud of it!

The Thought For Today

"Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what IS that thing?!" - Jack Handey

Comics - The Oatmeal

Comics - The Oatmeal Funny stuff!

The Thought For Today

"Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage."  –  Woody Allen

The Thought For Today

"A kindergarten teacher in Florida was arrested for trafficking Oxycodone. Other teachers became suspicious when she had the only class in school with a six-hour naptime." - Jimmy Fallon

POOR DEANO!

WHY THE LAW SAYS THAT HE CAN'T HAVE KIDS.

TOP TEN BEST EXCUSES IN CRIMINAL CASES

1. License case: “It wasn’t me, my brother did it, my brother did it” The defendant doesn’t have a brother.

2. Assault and Battery Case: “The guy walked into my fist. I tried to stop him, but he kept running into my fist!”

3. Shoplifting case: “I was going to return it if it didn’t fit, really I was.”

4. Conspiracy case: “it was entirely my wife’s idea, I will testify that way if I need to.”

5. Assault with Dangerous Weapon: “The cops must have planted my fingerprints on the weapon.”

6. Drug case: “I was only given $5,000 to drive this bag from one location to another, how was I supposed to know there was something illegal in the bag?”

7. Minor in possession of alcohol: “Yeah, we had the alcohol, but I wasn’t given my Miranda rights, so that means a dismissal right?” The police saw the person drinking in the car and there were no statements to be suppressed.

8. DUI case: “I drank a lot, but I wasn’t that drunk because I got to the car and I was driving.”

9. Drug case: An overweight person claimed that she didn’t use crack cocaine. While pointing at herself she stated, “look at me, does it look like I use crack!”

10. My favorite: A doctor gets arrested for trying to elicit sex from a prostitute. “I was doing research on STDs."

The Thought For Today

"I intend to live forever. So far, so good." - Steven Wright

The Thought For Today

"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me." - Noel Coward

Mighty Kite Home

Home


And completing the lineup we have Mighty Kite. "Mighty Kite size can easily fit in a purse or in a glove box, and can be used as a book marker. Take it off the package & carry the Mighty Kite in your pocket!" These are inexpensive and cool. The perfect kite for young kids and the permanently young at heart.