Location Earth Dog Tags

You know how it goes. Kidnapped and experimented on by aliens. But it's all over now and you're all kicked back with brewskis and the aliens say: "Well, the least we can do is give you a ride home. Which way?" And as you look into their viewscreen, you realize that you have no damned idea. Unless you have these dog tags. Just show them to the aliens and, BLAM, you're on your way back home. And they even come with a money back guarantee, if you don't find your way back home!